I decided to forgo the pleasure -- wink, wink -- of the gym this morning so I could write this blog. Normally, I wouldn't do that, but in light of the fact that a) my body is in pain after working out Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning, and b) my heart is sore from being so lonely, I decided that writing would serve me better than sweating.
I'm a social person by nature. My mom loves to tease me that it's always a party when I'm around. When we go to church, my mom and my best friend usually end up waiting for me by the car because I'm chatting up someone I know afterwards. I even make friends at the gym.
All of that has changed now that I'm in California. I'm still the same fun-loving babe I've always been, but I haven't found a community of people to chill with. I know a few people, but most of them already have their lives in place, and they don't have room for me. In addition, people my age are saddled with either a significant other or kids, and they aren't trying to hear my pleas of, "Let's go hang out," or "Let's try that new restaurant in Hollywood." I could probably hang out with younger people, but I haven't met any out here that thrill me. Call a snob or an elitist, but I just don't find their conversation that sparkling. Therefore, I'm left to my own devices, and I don't like it.
Recently, I was having a conversation with one of my friends on the East Coast about the possibility of moving to another city. She's originally from Chicago, and she spent quite a few years in Washington, DC before moving to New York. Even though she's found her niche in the Big Apple -- thanks to me -- she's still considering moving back to DC. She told me that she was also considering Philly, but she didn't know if she wanted to go through the trouble of trying to make new friends.
Since making new friends has never been a problem for me, it never occurred to me that LA could be different. At this point, I wish it had. Now I'm here in this beautiful place, where the sun shines most of the time and I can wear shorts in the winter, and I'm miserable. I'm always alone -- which isn't the worst because I like myself -- and there's no one locally I can call on for companionship or camaraderie.
I try to ignore these things as I go through my daily grind, but as the holiday weekend approaches, I realize I don't have any plans. That bothers me. I thought about buying a bottle of some sort of libation and forgetting about everything for a minute, but a) drinking alone makes me feel like an alcoholic, and b) it depresses me more. Besides, I don't like drinking enough to spend the money it would take to dip out of reality.
My situation may sound depressing, but thankfully, I'm not depressed. Regardless of what California is, I still have the coolest friends and the best family on my team. If they were here, it would be wonderful. For now, though, I'm just lonely and in need of something to do.
I'm a social person by nature. My mom loves to tease me that it's always a party when I'm around. When we go to church, my mom and my best friend usually end up waiting for me by the car because I'm chatting up someone I know afterwards. I even make friends at the gym.
All of that has changed now that I'm in California. I'm still the same fun-loving babe I've always been, but I haven't found a community of people to chill with. I know a few people, but most of them already have their lives in place, and they don't have room for me. In addition, people my age are saddled with either a significant other or kids, and they aren't trying to hear my pleas of, "Let's go hang out," or "Let's try that new restaurant in Hollywood." I could probably hang out with younger people, but I haven't met any out here that thrill me. Call a snob or an elitist, but I just don't find their conversation that sparkling. Therefore, I'm left to my own devices, and I don't like it.
Recently, I was having a conversation with one of my friends on the East Coast about the possibility of moving to another city. She's originally from Chicago, and she spent quite a few years in Washington, DC before moving to New York. Even though she's found her niche in the Big Apple -- thanks to me -- she's still considering moving back to DC. She told me that she was also considering Philly, but she didn't know if she wanted to go through the trouble of trying to make new friends.
Since making new friends has never been a problem for me, it never occurred to me that LA could be different. At this point, I wish it had. Now I'm here in this beautiful place, where the sun shines most of the time and I can wear shorts in the winter, and I'm miserable. I'm always alone -- which isn't the worst because I like myself -- and there's no one locally I can call on for companionship or camaraderie.
I try to ignore these things as I go through my daily grind, but as the holiday weekend approaches, I realize I don't have any plans. That bothers me. I thought about buying a bottle of some sort of libation and forgetting about everything for a minute, but a) drinking alone makes me feel like an alcoholic, and b) it depresses me more. Besides, I don't like drinking enough to spend the money it would take to dip out of reality.
My situation may sound depressing, but thankfully, I'm not depressed. Regardless of what California is, I still have the coolest friends and the best family on my team. If they were here, it would be wonderful. For now, though, I'm just lonely and in need of something to do.
Comments
I've been lonely for years. So lonely for so long that I'm now used to it. Ain't that sad.
Perhaps I shouldn't say lonely. Because that might give folks the impression that I don't have people in my life to love and to love me back. That's not true at all. I have a lot of people that I feel like love me the same way I love them.
But I don't have no one to hang out with. That's why I miss you so much, Mackdiva. Yeah, we talk all the time. But we don't get to hang out.
I guess for me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you and I were in the same town, we would be together hanging out, doing our friend thing. And gas wouldn't be an issue that can't be dealt with in the name of "kicking it with the ones you love."
I'm going to try my best to come and hang out with you this summer. I need to kick it with you.
Call me when you get a chance. I called you last night.
Love and best wishes,
Angela
Just kidding...
Well, not really.
**smile**
I wish you luck on tonight with your boy. Have fun if you can. That's the whole point.