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Happy New Year!

We've reached 2016, and I'm glad. Last year was hard on me. I can honestly say that there were some losses that I didn't expect, some I did, and some I hoped wouldn't happen. And after that, I'm still standing.

Between TMFKATO and New Boo, I didn't know if my heart would ever be whole again. Honestly, I still don't. But both relationships taught me about who I am, what I want, and how to handle myself if I ever get them. They also taught me what NOT to do, and that's undervalue or underestimate myself. Now I know -- beyond the shadow of a doubt - what I can and can't take in these situations.

I now understand why people do what they do. I finally felt my own heart expand beyond its boundaries only to slapped back to reality. Now I get it. It was a painful lesson -- one that I don't wish on anyone.

Running from your problems won't necessarily solve them. All it does is make it easier for you to avoid them. Sometimes that's necessary to think a thing through. But at the end of the day, your problem goes with you no matter what locale you're in.

I'm older. And while that's inevitable if you keep living, it's something I'm coming to grips with -- even as we speak. And I'm thankful.

Like I said, I made it out. Now we're on to new beginnings.

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…