I went on my date.
I think my life may have changed forever.
Things started out innocently enough. I met him at his job and we went to the restaurant from there. He picked out another place he'd wanted to try, and it was very cool. Even though someone told me to wear jeans, I opted for a dress and boots. My thing was that I wanted to look like I cared, but not like I'd tried too hard.
We had a great time. We ate and walked a bit afterwards. And then he brought me home, because he wanted to make sure I got here safely. (His words, not mine.)
After making out a bit, he said something to me that literally brought me to tears.
He told me that he wants to build a solid foundation with me. That he's after my heart and my mind first. In his opinion, the body will follow. Because he sees big things in our future, he's not to get things out of order. And he wants to earn my trust.
So why did that bring me to tears, you ask?
Because honestly, it's what I've wanted to hear all my life. I've always wanted someone to want ME and not by body. At dinner, he told me he wanted to teach me the rules of football so I could see what a beautiful game it was. That's when he interjected, "See, I'm trying to keep you around for the long haul."
Here's what scares me...he's a big boy. And I don't mean kinda big. I mean can't wrap my arms around him big. And understand -- I knew that when I went out with him and for superficial purposes, it doesn't matter. I dated big guys before with no problems.
But after all the loss I experienced last year, I am NOT in the mood for more of the same. His size and his age are scaring me because I don't want to fall for him and have something happen to him. And straight up...I could see me falling for him because he's adorable.
So here I am...wanting to try again, but afraid to get caught up.