Skip to main content

The Date

I went on my date. 

I think my life may have changed forever.

Things started out innocently enough. I met him at his job and we went to the restaurant from there. He picked out another place he'd wanted to try, and it was very cool. Even though someone told me to wear jeans, I opted for a dress and boots. My thing was that I wanted to look like I cared, but not like I'd tried too hard.

We had a great time. We ate and walked a bit afterwards. And then he brought me home, because he wanted to make sure I got here safely. (His words, not mine.)

After making out a bit, he said something to me that literally brought me to tears.

He told me that he wants to build a solid foundation with me. That he's after my heart and my mind first. In his opinion, the body will follow. Because he sees big things in our future, he's not to get things out of order. And he wants to earn my trust.

So why did that bring me to tears, you ask?

Because honestly, it's what I've wanted to hear all my life. I've always wanted someone to want ME and not by body. At dinner, he told me he wanted to teach me the rules of football so I could see what a beautiful game it was. That's when he interjected, "See, I'm trying to keep you around for the long haul."

Here's what scares me...he's a big boy. And I don't mean kinda big. I mean can't wrap my arms around him big. And understand -- I knew that when I went out with him and for superficial purposes, it doesn't matter. I dated big guys before with no problems.

But after all the loss I experienced last year, I am NOT in the mood for more of the same. His size and his age are scaring me because I don't want to fall for him and have something happen to him. And straight up...I could see me falling for him because he's adorable.

So here I am...wanting to try again, but afraid to get caught up. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v
There's always that one. The one person you'd change your entire life for if they asked you to. Whether it's the first man you ever loved, the first guy who saw you naked, or the first man to bring you flowers, if he said, "Marry me, and travel with me around the world," you'd quit your job and hop on the first thing smoking. Alas, I haven't met him yet. Actually...that's not true. I have met him. But he doesn't want me. So rather than admit that the one guy I'd leave it all for wouldn't be caught dead with me, I say we don't know each other. I read an article this week that I found to be very informative. It was talking about how men will use any woman who allows herself to be used. And while I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I don't want that kind of life, I recognized myself in all those women. I've been there. And there are times (like today) when it would be nice to have someone around...even if they're

Long-Distance Sucks

I hate long-distance relationships. Absolutely despise them. So, you ask, why am I currently in one? The short answer is, “I don’t know.” The real answer is, “I don’t know anyone locally that gets me.” Tinderfella is in New York. I am in Texas. Maybe I shouldn’t have let it get this far. Maybe I should’ve nipped it in the bud. But I didn’t. Now I find myself strung out over a man I won’t get to touch until September — IF I’m lucky. With my cycle and every other factor that could exert itself over my situation, I don’t know if we’ll get to see each other then. I don’t like this. I want to kick it with him after work. Maybe hook up and see a movie. Or not. We could cuddle on the couch or discuss the day’s events or just breathe each other’s air. I wanna watch his face light up when he sees me or frown when he gets mad. I want to learn his facial expressions and body language well enough to read joy, peace, anger, and hatred on him. Basically, I want to be with him in a real and meaningfu