Have you ever felt like a fish out of water? That's how I feel with My Teddy Bear.
He's an awesome man. The way he treats me is second to none. I'm realizing that men actually CAN love women in a way that's real and pure.
So why am I having a hard time accepting it?
I swear...I never thought I'd be here, but I am. I don't feel worthy of his kindness and affection. And I can't pinpoint why I'm having issues with it. It's like I've finally found exactly what I need in a man, but I don't know that I'm good enough for him.
Could it be because New Boo still creeps into my dreams?
Please be clear -- NO woman deserves to be put through what NB put me through. I treated him like gold, but he tossed me aside like glass. I sometimes think that the way I'm feeling about MTB is how NB felt about me -- like he wasn't good enough.
The difference between me and NB is that I recognize MTB's goodness as being an inherent part of him. I understand that he would treat anyone he chooses to love the way he treats me. In other words, he treats me good because HE's good -- not me.
I can't say that out loud to anyone. No one will believe I'm going through this.
More than anything, I won't break MTB's heart like NB broke mine. He's too good for me not to trifle with. It's my goal to be worthy of what he wants to give me.
I don't know how I'm going to do that.
Here's the real screwed up part -- the guys I've been with have been so awful that my awfulness wasn't so bad compared to them. Now that I have a good man on my team, I see just how bad I am.
Maybe I really do need help. Or maybe my hormones are out of whack. I don't know. All I know is that I'm gonna keep this stuff to myself so I won't taint the one good thing I've ever had with my foolishness.
He's an awesome man. The way he treats me is second to none. I'm realizing that men actually CAN love women in a way that's real and pure.
So why am I having a hard time accepting it?
I swear...I never thought I'd be here, but I am. I don't feel worthy of his kindness and affection. And I can't pinpoint why I'm having issues with it. It's like I've finally found exactly what I need in a man, but I don't know that I'm good enough for him.
Could it be because New Boo still creeps into my dreams?
Please be clear -- NO woman deserves to be put through what NB put me through. I treated him like gold, but he tossed me aside like glass. I sometimes think that the way I'm feeling about MTB is how NB felt about me -- like he wasn't good enough.
The difference between me and NB is that I recognize MTB's goodness as being an inherent part of him. I understand that he would treat anyone he chooses to love the way he treats me. In other words, he treats me good because HE's good -- not me.
I can't say that out loud to anyone. No one will believe I'm going through this.
More than anything, I won't break MTB's heart like NB broke mine. He's too good for me not to trifle with. It's my goal to be worthy of what he wants to give me.
I don't know how I'm going to do that.
Here's the real screwed up part -- the guys I've been with have been so awful that my awfulness wasn't so bad compared to them. Now that I have a good man on my team, I see just how bad I am.
Maybe I really do need help. Or maybe my hormones are out of whack. I don't know. All I know is that I'm gonna keep this stuff to myself so I won't taint the one good thing I've ever had with my foolishness.
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