Skip to main content

The Business of Grief

Can someone please tell me what I'm supposed to do? I'm caught in a crazy place, and I don't want to be here. On one hand, I feel like the biggest jerk in the world. Here I am sad because my 96-year-old grandmother is gone, and some people haven't been privileged to know theirs. Everyone says, "She lived a long, full life. You should celebrate." And I will...one day. Today, I'm completely broken. It's like my very core has been ripped out. The one person that I could count on to be here isn't. And while I know my life will go on, and that this pain will subside, I don't know what I'll do until then.

Granny's never been far from my mind, but now that she's taken her leave, I hear her words echoing in my head all the time. Every situation is running through my Granny filter. "If Granny saw/heard that, she'd say/do, etc." My memories of her -- I have so many -- keep playing in my head like some kind of crazy movie. It would be different if I could remember everything in order, but things are just jumping on my mind's screen from every era of my life.

Everyone knows how much Granny means to me, and they're all watching me to make sure I'm okay. It's funny. I thought that I'd be all torn up -- and trust me when I tell you, I am on my inside parts -- but I can't just fall to pieces for the camera. I'm working very hard to keep it together, at least for now. I know I'll be a mess soon enough, so I just want to get through this process.

I'm taking my cues from my grandmother's children, my mom and my uncle. They're busy handling the business of the funeral. My mom, who lives in Dallas, is heading to East Texas tomorrow because she has the dress she wants Granny to be buried in. My uncle, who took care of Granny these last few years, made all the arrangements for the service. I said I'd write something for the obituary. I know they're both very hurt, but they're keeping it together for my sake. Therefore, I'm doing the best I can to keep it together for them.

I know that grief is something that affects everyone differently, and this is what it's doing to me...

Comments

Janelle said…
I wish there was some magic potion to alleviate the pain. (maybe I should talk to the Heights about concocting one. LOL)

But seriously, only time will fade the pain. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of my great-grandmother. And I will always miss her but when I hear her words of wisdom in my head or when a story about her pops into my mind, I know that it's her way of letting me know that she will always be a part of me.

Love ya!

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v

The Five Commandments of Houseguests

It's Sunday night, and I just put one of my girlfriends on the plane. She's a great person, but this weekend wore on me like none other. In her defense, she's in mourning. Her husband just died in September, and she's learning how to live again. They had been together since high school and now he's gone. That being said...there was NO excuse for the way she acted this weekend. Please understand...I'm not perfect. Never have been. And now that I'm 40, I don't feel the need to apologize for it. But NO ONE gets to make me feel inferior in MY house. Absolutely not! My house wasn't exactly in tip-top shape. I work two jobs, sing in the church choir, and try to work out with my trainer twice a week. So my house wasn't really ready for her. Then I realized that my mind wasn't ready for her, either. Even when we were in school, she wasn't the friend I could hang out with every day. More than that, she came with the very mentality th

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip