Skip to main content

If Love Could Keep Her Here...

If love alone could keep Granny here, she never would've left...

She loved her children more than life itself. There was nothing this woman wouldn't do for them. I remember when my mom -- her baby -- had her hysterectomy. Granny was well in her 80s and had lived with the effects of a stroke for at least 15 years. Her right side was partially paralyzed and she didn't have full use of her right hand, yet she was tipping around the apartment trying to make sure that Mom had something to eat. Never mind her own pain. It wasn't important at that moment. In her mind, all that mattered was that her baby was taken care of.

If love alone could keep Granny here, she never would've left...

Even though Granny had stopped going out of the house, we always made sure she looked her best. My mom would buy cute things for her to wear around the house, and my brother -- the perfume king -- made sure she smelled good. When I would come home, I'd comb and grease her hair like she liked it.

If love alone could keep Granny here, she never would've left...

My uncle gave up his life as he once knew it to make sure that Granny had everything she needed. He made sure she ate on time and that she was as comfortable as possible in her house. When he could no longer care for her because she'd gotten too weak, he was at the nursing home everyday making sure that everything was on-point.

If love alone could keep Granny here, she never would've left...

No matter where we were in our lives, we -- my mom, my uncle, my brother, and I -- always made it a point to come home for the holidays. When we were all together, Granny would stay up way past her bedtime to enjoy the company. She'd smile and say, "I'm so proud. All my children are here." She would be so happy, and it brought us joy to see her like that.

If love alone could keep Granny here, she never would've left...

The last time I saw Granny, I knew she wasn't doing well. We'd made the decision to put her on hospice care because her condition, coupled with her age, meant that there was little the doctors could do. She had been in intensive care, but she'd pulled out. They thought they were going to have to insert a feeding tube, but she'd started eating again. When I saw her, I told her, "You're looking pretty good, Granny," to which she replied, "Well, I'm alive!" I personally think that she pulled up because she knew I wouldn't have been able to leave her the way she'd been earlier. I'll always love her for that.

If love alone could keep Granny here...you know the rest.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…