Skip to main content

The Beginning of the End, Part 2

In any relationship, there's a point of no return. For the late The Guy I Thought Was The One, it was the point at which he cussed me out. For New Boo, I see it's the point where he can't come home.

To be fair -- as much as I can be -- he knew he was coming home to a fight. My text messages said so, and I don't know that I blame him for wanting to avoid that. However, I submit that he could've avoided it had he been respectful and considerate in the beginning.

The day started out typically for us in that he went out to work and I stayed home to work. Because I didn't really have anything particular on my agenda, I let him use my metrocard because it's unlimited and would allow him to save a couple of bucks. In the afternoon, he hit me up and asked about dinner. I told him what I wanted to make, and what I needed him to make, and that was what was supposed to happen.

Then I get a call from him saying that he had to work late. No problem, I said, just let me know what's up and we'll work it out. Cool. Next thing I know, he texting me saying that he'll be out in 30 minutes.

This is where things get hairy. If he leaves work in 30, his commute takes him anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour. I start putting the meal together. Once everything is done, I hit him up to see how close he is. No response. Okay...then another hour and a half goes by, and I start to worry. After all, this is the same city where a man got arrested for wielding a hammer in the streets. I hit him up to ask where he is. That's when he tells me that he stopped to watch the hockey game and have drinks with his boys.

That's when I got irritated. Do I mind him watching hockey and drinking? No. Even though I didn't know he liked hockey, I wouldn't have tripped on that. What made me mad was that he didn't just tell me that beforehand. 

About 10 minutes later he hits me with the, "They wanna get another drink." I hit him back with the expressionless emoticon to let him know that I'm not pleased. He asks, "Can I," and adds, "I'll make it up to you when I get home."

At this point, my patience has worn thin, and I tell him to do what he wants but just know that I'm a  little disgusted because he could've let me know what was going on hours ago. He then asks me if I want him to come home, and I blew up. I said, "I wanted you to let me know you were staying out before you did it. Do what you want to do now."

TWO HOURS later, and I haven't heard from him so I say, "Um...will you be making an appearance at home this evening?" That's when he tells me that he's still out and that he's going to Brooklyn to stay with one of his boys.

Now, we JUST had a huge blowout a couple of weeks ago and I told him that no matter what happens, he needs to come home because it's disrespectful not to when you live with someone. But this is what he chose to do.

Am I wrong to be upset about all this? I don't know, but now I have some decisions to make. The way I see it, I can't marry someone who has no regard whatsoever for my feelings and no respect for me. After all, I'm bending over backwards to make sure that I make choices that are beneficial to both of us. Meanwhile, he's all about himself. 

I'm hurt and upset, but I can't really feel anything because I'm beyond numb right now. Stay tuned...


Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.


So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.