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Dating -- I Hate It

When it gets right down to it, I hate dating.

That's one of the many things I cry about. When New Boo and I got together, I thought this part of my life was over. The dating part. I thought we'd be together, and that would be that.

Now I'm dating again. And I hate it.

I would do/give/be anything to just be off the market and safely ensconced in a relationship. I promise you I would.

Instead, I'm communicating with a man who sees nothing wrong with "pleasuring" himself three times a day to "relieve stress."

I. can't.

The sky is overcast today. When New Boo and I lived in the haunted house of horrors, most of the days were overcast. But our relationship brought light to my life. I loved us together, and I miss him tremendously.

But the reality of the situation is that I don't know what was real with him. His lies have tainted what could be happy memories of us. I don't know what was going on and I don't know what I can hold on to at any given time.

So many times, I feel so stupid for being upset. Not because I don't think I should, but as my friend said, "I don't know why there are tears." I hate feeling that way.

Oh...and get this -- Mr. Pleasure Principle just dropped me as a match when I told him I wasn't sure how I felt about porn being a part of his life. Oh well....

See why I hate dating?

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…