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Oh Boy...

So...I reached out to New Boo. With all this madness going on with me, I decided to stop wondering about him and just find out if he's okay.

Clearly he is.

I told him I missed him in one text. He said he missed me, too. Then I reached out to him yesterday to tell him that I made tacos -- one of his favorites -- and to say Happy Labor Day. We spoke about him working at his new job, but he was clearly not glad to hear from me, so I let the conversation drop.

I still love him.

He still doesn't love me.

And we move on with our lives.

What I wouldn't give not to care. But I do...and I'm kinda messed up right now.

Oh...and Tinderfella hasn't been heard from. What he doesn't really understand is that I need way more from him than he's able to give right now. He doesn't understand that I need attention in order to stay interested. Now understand -- the bad sex already has me not on the edge with him. If he wants to pull me back in, he's going to have to give me some of what I need.

When he finally hit me up late Monday evening -- after telling me Saturday that he needed to hurry home -- the moment was gone. Apparently something is wrong with his phone. I don't know. All I know right now is that I'll be going out of town for the weekend, which means that I won't have to come up with an excuse not to have sex with him again. Yay me!

I've GOT to get myself together. For real.

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…