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A Choice

I am deciding to be happy. Again.

Even though I love New Boo, he does NOT love me. Even though I'm concerned about New Boo, he is NOT concerned about me. And as much as he SAID he wanted us to be friends, I see that he was just giving me lip service. And that's okay.

He and I are not a we, and we will never be again. As much as I hate that, I have to come to grips with it and move on. He certainly has. And that's okay.

Now it's my turn.

So I'm choosing to look at our time together as a good thing. I learned a lot from our relationship. I learned that contrary to popular belief, I CAN live with people. I can cook, and I can clean. I know how to make a house a home, and I can be domestic. That was huge for me.

Am I ready for marriage? I think so, but I know I have a lot to learn. But I'm well on my way after my time with New Boo. I think I've what to do and what NOT to do.

And please know -- I'm still undone. I'm still brokenhearted. And I'm still not myself. But you know what? I am doing my best to put myself back together again.

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…