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I was loved.

I was thinking about my life this time last year. I was reflecting on how so much could change in 365 days.

My heart was safe. I thought I was participating in the definitive relationship of my life. I can see the stars that were sparkling in my eyes, and I loved it.

People probably thought I was crazy. After all, who invests their everything in Macy's salesperson? That would be me. He made me feel like I could fly.

I was loved.

Today I'm in California keeping my friend's son. He's looking at me as my eyes well up with tears. I can't explain it to him, and fortunately, he's not a perceptive enough child to care that I'm broken. All he knows is that I'm going to take him to daycare.

I was loved.

I promise you that I won't wallow today. Inasmuch as I want to, I won't. I honestly don't have the time or the energy to devote to mourning my wasted affection again. Instead, I will do my best to celebrate the fact that no matter what, there was a time in my life that I was looked at with loving eyes...touched with gentle hands...held with strong arms.

Today is a new day. I am still loved. Just not by him. And while I hate that more than I can express, I accept it. It's not my fault. I did all I could do to sustain the love I felt...that I still feel...that I may never stop feeling.

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