Skip to main content

Dumped...

It finally dawned on me why I've taken this breakup so hard.

I got dumped.

This is the one of the first times in my romantic history that someone has said to me, "Yeah...I'm done with you." And to be clear, there have been times when relationships have run their course. But this is the first time I've been blindsided by a situation that I thought was good.

I got dumped.

I'm guessing this is what the guys I've left behind feel. When they think they've done their best...and I don't agree...and I put plans in motion to get out, they, too, feel blindsided. But this time...

I got dumped.

I've had several relationships end. All of them, actually. And I didn't want all of them to end. Who wants to be single? Certainly not me. But when they got bad, I got out. Because even though I don't want to be single, I'd rather be single than be in a bad relationship. Maybe I wasn't in a bad relationship, but he was. Rather than tell me, he just bailed on me. Which only means one thing.

I got dumped.

Now that I realize what happened to me, I have to figure out how to move on. How to not internalize the pain and rejection and move on to a place of hope and healing. I have to understand that being dumped isn't the end of the world -- even if it did the world as I knew it at the time. I have to accept the fact that my love didn't measure up to what he wanted or could handle.

I got dumped. But it's not the end of my story...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…
Post a Comment
Read more

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…
Post a Comment
Read more

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.
Post a Comment
Read more