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Date Night

Tinderfella and I finally had our date. Let's just say it wasn't what I expected.

We went to see "Straight Outta Compton" -- an excellent film, by the way -- and then he came home with me. Against my better judgement, I let him come upstairs.

I should back up at this point and say that I looked fierce for our first official date. I pulled out the big guns -- a dress and heels  -- and all he could say when he saw me was, "Damn."

We spent the movie acting like stupid teens who didn't have anywhere to go. He kept putting his hands between my legs...and I kept letting him -- again, against my better judgement. And then I let him bring me home.

His first order of business was to remove my shoes and massage my legs and feet. That was new for me. In all my years, I can honestly say that no man has done that for me -- unless it involved him sucking my toes. Of course, that led to him putting his face between my legs.

Ladies, I don't have to tell you how awesome that can be. Since it never was New Boo's thing, I didn't get that a lot. And it just so happens that Tinderfella is good at this. In fact, that's really ALL he should do. But I digress...

By the time the next act rolled around, I was more than ready. So imagine my chagrin when the reality of his sexual prowess just wasn't there. In fact, it was a situation that seriously made me want to get a V8.

On the flipside, I KNOW he had a good time. Some of the phrases I heard were, "Oh snap," "Gotdamn," and my personal favorite, "You da best." All things I've heard before, but it's always nice to hear again. At one point, I had to scold him for questioning something I'd asked him to do. Let's just say he got the point.

I now understand why both of the loves of his life cheated on him. With the exception of his head game, he's a lousy lover. The problem is that he's physically too big and he's not really able to keep an erection. Not a good combination.

When he'd finally had enough, we went to sleep. That's when I proceeded to dream about New Boo for the second time in a week. Just so you know, it's never good to dream about one man when another is in your bed.

Anyway...as exciting as all of this was, it was NOT the highlight of my weekend. Stay tuned...

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…