Skip to main content

In Trouble

So...I'm going to meet Tinderfella for the first time today.

I'm kinda scared. Not because he's not a great guy -- he really is -- but I like his conversation and stuff. If I meet him and he's a troll, I'm going to be disappointed because if what he's saying is real, he's husband material.

But even beyond that, I hope he's not disappointed in me. He swears he thinks I'm beautiful from my pictures, But we all know how pictures can make people all lovely and when you see them in person, you're running for the hills.

So...this should be interesting to say the least...
_____________

Have you ever met someone and known immediately that you were going to be in trouble? That's what just happened with Tinderfella.

He's an adorable dude with a cute smile. He has child-bearing hips, but we can fix that. What I love about him is that he is a man. A real one. One who said to me, "What do you want to do to celebrate your anniversary in radio?" He also won't let me walk on the outside when we're on the street, and he looks at me like he really likes me.

I am going to be in trouble.

This man has something that I haven't really seen before -- a pure heart. He loves what he loves and does what he wants to do. I can tell that he's just as free with his time, his heart, and his love as I am. And since he knows exactly what he wants -- a wife -- this could present a problem.

And don't get me wrong -- it's not the worst problem to have. I like him. A lot. I see a lot in him. I spent some time with him, and I realize I could spend even more time with him. Basically, I think I may have met my future.

He's the nice guy I've been looking for all my life. He's expressive and I can be myself with him. Even though I've only spent an hour in his presence, I know I can share things with him and it'll be alright.

I am going to be in trouble, and it's a good thing. He and I have the same thing on our minds. We both want long-term relationships. We both want to wait before we take things to the next level. And we both see something special in what we have right now.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I'm going to be in trouble, but I won't be in it alone.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.

Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.