Skip to main content

An Update

I decided to block New Boo on both my phone and Facebook.

It was not an easy decision. I didn't really want to cut him out of my life that way, but I realized that he'd already done it to me. And when you do that, you don't get the luxury of dropping in when YOU want to.

Besides, what do we have to talk about? He claims he wants to be my friend, but he's not honest enough to tell the truth about anything. And I'm tired of waiting for him to "get it together."

If a person loves you and wants to be with you, he or she will. It's just that simple. New Boo has made it clear that he doesn't want to be with me. I'm okay with that. Now I've got to heal from that, and I can't do it if there's always a possibility of him dropping in on me and destroying whatever stability I've found.

When I asked him why he'd dropped me as a friend on Facebook, he told me that he dropped everyone -- as if that would make it better. Like it was okay to lump me in with everyone else. In that moment, I realized that I was no longer special to him. So if I'm not special to him, why am I holding a special place in my life for him? It's just not necessary.

We're moving into a new season, and I'm moving away from New Boo. Period.

**********

In other news, Tinderfella wants to hook up again. I do not. I like him as a friend, but the sex leaves a LOT to be desired. Therefore, I want no parts of it.

But how do you say that to a man? How do you say, "I'd rather gargle with Clorox and lime than get naked with you again?" Trust me, I completely mean that.

Honestly, I don't remember when I've had sex quite that bad. Of course, in his defense, it could've been those first time jitters. Most people don't perform well the first time. I remember a guy from back in the day who couldn't keep it up at all. But his headgame was so on-point that I gave him another chance. He came back with something to prove -- and let's just say he succeeded.

Maybe that could be Tinderfella's story. I don't know. How 'bout I just don't want to find out?

Here's why. If he gets sprung on me, he's going to want to do it again and again and again. I don't know if I want that kind of relationship right now.

Another thing I'm noticing is that he's cheap. He wants to come over here later this week to -- in his words -- "make me tremble." But does he want to go out to dinner? Does he want to go to the movies? No. He wants me to meet him at his school and bring him home. Uh...yeah...that's not going to happen. At least not in this here lifetime.

So I'm at an impasse with Tinderfella. But I think my period is coming soon...and I'm going to play that thing to the hilt. Just watch.

For real though, I've got to figure a way out of this -- both literally and figuratively.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

On Barack, the Nomination, and Black Love

I'm so excited about Barack Obama! I know I'm just joining the teeming millions when I say that, but I think something this big is worth repeating. Never before in the history of our country has a Black man been in a position to lead the free world, and it feels good. I'm so glad that I've lived long enough to see this day.

Beside the fact that Barack is a great candidate for the Democratic party, I'm moved by his relationship with Michelle. Not since The Cosby Show have we seen a successful Black couple who have a genuine and sincere love and respect for one another. What makes their relationship so special is that it's real -- not the product of someone's imagination.

I obviously don't know Michelle Obama, but I want to grow up to be just like her. I love the fact that she doesn't NEED Barack. She's strong, smart, and successful in her own right, yet secure enough to fall back and be supportive of her man. That's something that all y…

In My Feelings...Again

There are times when I think I should change the name of this blog. Today I do NOT feel like a diva. I feel like a pitiful mess of a woman who's completely in my feelings.

I hate it when I get here.

I was minding my business last night when Juice hit me up. (Remind me to tell you about him later.) He wanted to hang out because we'd actually said we would. But he's he's only after one thing and I wasn't inspired enough to venture out to deal with him, so I told him I was in for the evening.

At the same time, New Boo asked me if I'd done my hair.

Let's be clear. My hair in and of itself isn't necessarily that big a deal. However, him asking me about it could indicate that I was on his mind and that he cared about me in more than a horizontal way. That would be awesome...but I know it's not true. Even though I engaged in conversation with him -- because that's what I do -- it was painful.

I am lonely. I want to be with someone who cares about me. I…

Out of Time

Time. You always think you have more...until you don't. I'm there.

I just left the doctor, where we discussed my fibroid. She said it was huge. So huge, in fact, that she couldn't get it all. If there's a need for another surgery, it'll be a hysterectomy.

I want babies. I want to be someone's mother. I also want to be someone's wife before I become someone's mother. And therein lies my dilemma.

It would be stupid for me to have a baby with My Teddy Bear. That's the reality of my life right now. But it would be even stupider to have a child with New Boo. Not only does he not want any more babies, he does't take care of the ones he already has. I would be an absolute idiot to attempt procreation with him. And as quiet as it's kept, I'm not interested in raising a child alone. I want my baby to have a mother AND a father.

So here I am, a 46-year-old woman who's run out of time.