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Tinderfella

So...I met someone. On Tinder.

Before you judge me, please know that this is my attempt to move on. I am trying so very hard to let New Boo go. I really am. Some days are easier than others. 

I was going to do eHarmony, but I felt like it was too expensive without offering me much. So I went on Tinder and got two matches the same day. One of them was a "spiritual nonconformist," which I took to mean an across the board heathen. The other one literally sounds like everything I've been looking for.

Tinderfella is a divorced dad of two who lives in Queens. He seems to be a lovely dude who has a great sense of humor and great taste in music. He loves his family AND he loves Jesus -- a plus for me. He even said those magic words that every woman wants to hear...

"I wanna be a husband."

Since I just met him, I don't necessarily want him to be MY husband today, but I like where his head is. It also doesn't hurt that he thinks I'm beautiful. 

Could this be something? I certainly hope so. But I'm determined to take it slow until I see what's REALLY going on with him.

I'm sad to say that because of New Boo, I'm finding it harder to trust people. I almost want to see his paperwork to make sure he's divorced and meet his mother to make sure he's not lying, That's not a good feeling to me right now.

I'm encouraged by his light demeanor and kindness that shines through his conversation as I work hard to swallow my New Boo-inspired doubts.

At this point, we've been enjoying pleasant conversations that sometimes get deeper than I ever intended. We've talked about his ex-wife and his ex-girlfriend. He told me about his mother's mother, who physically and emotionally abandoned her first set of children and went on to have a second set. He even told me that he saw a therapist after his divorce because he was so depressed.

Meanwhile, I've told him about New Boo, and how disappointed I was that it didn't work out. I told him about my father, whom I didn't meet until I was 22. At this point, I can't remember if we've talked about the dearly departed one yet, but I think I will have to tell him.

Mind you, we still haven't met in person. If all goes according to plan, that should happen this week sometime. He's taking his girls back to their mother, and even though he's starting a new job, he'll be free. Should be interesting.

The way I see it right now, even if we're not physically attracted to each other, we've got a good enough basis to be great friends. We shall see...

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…