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To Block or Not to Block

To block or not to block. That is the question.

There's a wonderful feature on my iPhone 6 that allows me to block out any caller that I don't want to hear from. No calls, no texts, no nothing. I can completely cut them out of my life with one selection on a touch screen.

I'm debating on doing that to New Boo.

To be clear, it's not like he's contacting me every day. He's not that concerned about what's going on with me. However, he'd like to reserve the right to contact me when HE wants to. That means that whenever I'm about to get back on track, or move to a place that would render him useless to me, he might hit me up and shatter my world again.

So why wouldn't I block him?

I wouldn't be able to contact him, either. I couldn't get phone calls or text messages from him. We would be more like strangers than ever, and we wouldn't be able to communicate. That would make me sad.

On the other hand, how does one move on without a complete severing of the relationship? There's no healing for the wound that's constantly picked at. Every time a scab forms, it's ripped off. That's no good for the wounded.

To block or not to block. That is my dilemma.

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…