Skip to main content

Ghosting...Or Another Immature Way to Break a Heart

So...I told you that my brother and my friend think I should ignore New Boo completely, right? Now there's actually a term for it -- ghosting. It's such a phenomenon lately that the New York Times did an article on it. Basically, you completely freeze another person out, in spite of their attempts to contact you.

I wish I could sit here and tell you I'd never done that. I have. In fact, I did it when I lived in New York the first time. There was a young guy I met while shopping with my brother. He was a nice enough guy -- a Southern boy -- but he was significantly younger than me. In fact, I had no idea he was flirting with me when we met. But we became friends, and I thought he was cool. Then came the fateful night he asked if he could spend the night at my house because his hot water was off. I'm like, "Sure, come over."

Southern Boy got there, and all was well except for one thing -- the only place available to sleep was my bed. So I let him sleep there because I figured it would be alright. Well, before we could get to sleep good, his solider awoke looking for a mission. And he was a strong soldier, too. Alas, Southern Boy didn't know how to utilize him effectively, thus rendering the battle unwon.

As a healthy woman with a more than healthy appetite, I was completely disappointed. And I never told him. So when he told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, I just couldn't see it. So I ghosted him. To this day, I wonder what happened to him.

As far as me using this technique on New Boo...I don't think so. Not only is it cruel, I'm much more mature now and more empathetic to the feelings of others. Besides, I don't like it when it's done to me.

My brother, with whom I share a mother, says I must get my niceness and friendliness from my father. As he likes to say, "Perhaps." But unless it's something drastic, I won't return to a life of ghosting again.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

I woke up the next morning in a complete mess from my issue. After I got up to clean myself up, he says to me, "Go lay down. I'm gonna finish up for you." I wanted to argue, but I couldn't because I was in too much pain.

That man cleaned my apartment. All of it. Swept AND mopped my floors and did all my dishes. And did it with a smile.

Just thinking ab…

Now What?

I don't know what I'm gonna do. I am having issues right now.

First of all, I'm realizing some things about myself that I really don't like admitting. For one, I am NOT satisfied with My Teddy Bear. Why, you ask? Because sex isn't a priority with him.

Some people drink. Some smoke. I like to have sex. It quiets the voices in my head that talk crazy to me. For those brief, shining moments, I get to be the best of me. I'm beautiful, sexy, and desirable. No matter how fat I am, in that moment I'm able to make someone else feel good. That makes me feel good. Also,  I know how to relate on that level, so everything that I perceive to be wrong with me goes out the window.

MTB doesn't know this. Even though I've always felt this way, I don't talk about it. Most of the guys I know actually want sex. They probably use it the way I do -- as a feel-good situation.

Things with New Boo weren't like that. We had a real connection. Or at least I thought we…

The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…