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Making Moves...

It's interesting to me how this thing is working.

I decided on Wednesday not to contact New Boo. So what did I wake up to yesterday? A hello text.

I have to admit that it made me feel good to know that he was kinda concerned about me.

We chatted for a minute, and then -- as usual -- he let the conversation drop at a critical point.

Normally I would've pressed him. This time, I didn't. I can't say I didn't care, but I can say that it wasn't as stinging as it has been.

I guess I'm moving on...

I decided that it's imperative that I get this house in order. I want to redecorate. Make it look like a single woman lives here. I'm gonna get slipcovers for the couch and the ottoman, and I'm going to do something with the walls.

If you've followed me for any length of time, you KNOW that decorating isn't my strong suit. It's actually something I've never been able to do. But this time, it's important. I have to let people know that this apartment is mine -- not mine and New Boo's. I have to let HIM know that the won't be able to come back here and get cozy again -- not without making some major changes in his lifestyle.

Basically, this is my declaration...


A new day has dawned in my home. While I don't know when I'll be ready to embrace that concept to its fullest, I'm determined to make moves in that direction.

Comments

JB said…
I wish there were a like button on your post. I would click it. My hope for you is that you spend some time, like your friend told you, letting yourself feel the way you feel and nurturing yourself. When I want to nurture myself, I take long walks with my dog, I sit a the computer and hug my cat, and I try to make my little spaces feel like a sanctuary. You take good care.

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…