Skip to main content

Making Moves...

It's interesting to me how this thing is working.

I decided on Wednesday not to contact New Boo. So what did I wake up to yesterday? A hello text.

I have to admit that it made me feel good to know that he was kinda concerned about me.

We chatted for a minute, and then -- as usual -- he let the conversation drop at a critical point.

Normally I would've pressed him. This time, I didn't. I can't say I didn't care, but I can say that it wasn't as stinging as it has been.

I guess I'm moving on...

I decided that it's imperative that I get this house in order. I want to redecorate. Make it look like a single woman lives here. I'm gonna get slipcovers for the couch and the ottoman, and I'm going to do something with the walls.

If you've followed me for any length of time, you KNOW that decorating isn't my strong suit. It's actually something I've never been able to do. But this time, it's important. I have to let people know that this apartment is mine -- not mine and New Boo's. I have to let HIM know that the won't be able to come back here and get cozy again -- not without making some major changes in his lifestyle.

Basically, this is my declaration...


A new day has dawned in my home. While I don't know when I'll be ready to embrace that concept to its fullest, I'm determined to make moves in that direction.

Comments

JB said…
I wish there were a like button on your post. I would click it. My hope for you is that you spend some time, like your friend told you, letting yourself feel the way you feel and nurturing yourself. When I want to nurture myself, I take long walks with my dog, I sit a the computer and hug my cat, and I try to make my little spaces feel like a sanctuary. You take good care.
June 26, 2015 at 5:58:00 PM EDT
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He's Gone...For Real

My uncle died. He actually ceased to live. I don't know how to handle this. Even though he was my mother's brother, he was so much more than that to me. He was the coolest cat on the block, He set the standard that every man had to meet. He was the one I compared every man in my life to. For all intents and purposes, he was my de facto dad. I am stunned. I feel like someone knocked the wind out of my body. I grew up watching him. If he sat up straight, I wanted to sit up straight. I once caught him standing up to pee. I thought I'd do that when I grew up, too. (You can just imagine that conversation). That's the thing...he never shied away from my craziness. When I discovered what a father was -- at the tender age of five -- I purposed in my heart to find one for myself. I asked every man I knew, including him, if they'd be my daddy. He said, "I can't be your dad. I'm your uncle." When I pressed, he gently explained that he already had a significan...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Middle Aged Rant

I am single. I’ve never had a husband. I’ve never given birth to a child. I’ve never lived with a man over six months. I am 54. I’m not classically pretty. I’m overweight. I’m not very tall. My brother says I’m a unicorn. My friends are kind enough not to make me feel small. My mother mentions in passing that she wants me to find a husband. I try not to be sad about my state. I’ve lived a life that some would find enviable. I had my dream job, met and interviewed great people, made great friends, and traveled all over the world. I have a new career that I find oddly fulfilling. Men don’t always like that. Some of them are jealous because I’m not easily impressed. Some are jealous because I’ve done things they haven’t. Some are jealous because I’ve lived on both coasts. I don’t know what to do. I can’t change my life – not that I want to. I can’t change my past – not that I want to. I can’t change myself –not that I want to. I just want someone to see me, not the image I present. I want...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Own My Tears

I own my tears. I used this as a hashtag on a Facebook post. I was talking about the movie, "The Fault in Our Stars." If you've seen it, you know what I mean, and I won't spoil it for you. Of course, you know me -- it's deeper than that. I need to say it out loud... I own my tears. New Boo meant the world to me. He really did. Our relationship meant the world to me. It really, really did. And now it's over and he's gone -- seemingly for good. That makes me cry more than I want to, and more than I have ever imagined I would. And while I hate it, I need to do this. I need to mourn this thing in its entirety because it has truly changed my life. I own my tears. I own the fact that I am hurt. I own the fact that I'm mourning a relationship that I wanted to work more than life itself. I wanted to be a part of a couple, and eventually a family. That may well happen for me one day. Today, though, it doesn't look likely. So yes, I cry. And you ...
1 comment
Read more