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I finally figured out what I was feeling.

The last time we talked, I had made tacos and was having a problem with missing New Boo. After I wrote that, he apparently had a problem missing me, too. Long story short, he came over and spent the night. Not a good look, but hey...things happen.

I was so confused after that. On one hand, I was glad to be missed. On the other hand, it wasn't our relationship he missed -- it was the relations. And as much as I miss that, it left me confused. I couldn't understand why I felt so bad about it...and then I got my period.

Sidebar -- I'm convinced that my mind goes through foolishness before my cycle. And when it finally comes, everything comes back into focus.

As much as I thought I wanted to have a tie to New Boo, that's not the one I want. If we can't have a full-fledged relationship, I refuse to have a "friends with benefits" situation with him. That's what he wants. If I give in, this heartbreak would be in vain.

Soooo...I'm going to take back my power and make him prove his love for me. If he can't do that, I'll let him go. It's just that simple.


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I'm watching Scandal, and Mellie was talking about how lonely it is to be the president. She spoke about how men have a problem with regular powerful women, but being the leader of the free world comes with a chastity belt.
I get it.
I'm nowhere near the leader of the free world. I'm not even the leader of free lunch, but I get it. If men perceive you to have one more drop of power than they do, they can't handle it.
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