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I'm NOT a Dress!

Love is not something you try on for size, like a dress you're considering. When you make the decision to love -- and it IS a decision -- you should make it in an honest and open manner, not only taking yourself into consideration, but also the person who's going to be the object of your affection. At the point you decide to love, you should also know that it comes with a responsibility to the person. You've placed yourself in a position to be responsible for them, their well-being, and the things that they care about -- whether they matter to you or not.

At least that what it should be. That's what I thought it was and what I signed on for when I decided to commit my heart to New Boo. Unfortunately, that's not what he wanted to do.

He told me that he got into this relationship with me so he could "try a new thing." Basically, none of his other relationships had worked, so since he knew I was "different," he thought he could be different with me. When he realized he couldn't live up to the expectations that he'd set in place with me, he wanted out. That's when all of the foolishness came up. Now when this was going on in his head, he didn't bother to share it with me. Oh no...that would've been too much like right. So he let me go on thinking that there was love to be had when in actuality, it was all gone because HE had tried it on and it didn't fit.

Now here I am, trying to put my heart and my life back together again. As it stands, every time my heart sees him, it skips a beat. And while I know he's not where he was before, I still am because I made a commitment to him and this relationship.

What am I supposed to do now?

Honestly, I wish we'd never gotten together. I wish I'd never allowed my heart to believe him. I wish I'd been harder with him. Instead, he caught me at a point where I wanted to be loved and he seemed like the perfect candidate. Now I know, I was just one of many situations he "tried on." Ugh...

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The End

Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…