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Lost???

He says he's lost.

Against my better judgement, I hit him up to say, "Happy Father's Day."

It took him a minute, but he hit me back and we had a conversation. My bad.

After telling me that he needed to come here and get some clothes, I asked if he was good. He said that he guessed. When I asked what that meant, he said, "I'm completely lost."

I asked, "Why do you feel that way? Isn't this what you wanted?"

He responded, "I don't know."

Note to self -- if you haven't completely thought out what you want, don't do anything to jeopardize what you currently have. The way I see it, it was cute to act a fool when you knew I was here for you. Now you know that I have absolutely no problem looking out for myself -- without you -- and you don't know how to take it.

Of course, his feelings could have absolutely nothing to do with me. Believe me, he's got enough to be lost about without including me in the mix. But you know me...I want it to be about me. I want him to feel lost without me. Like I feel without him.

My cousin has been in town this week, and it's been a welcome change. But she's leaving tomorrow, and I'm afraid that the emotions I've been fighting all week are going to come up again. And now that he's said this foolishness...

I just don't know.

Maybe we're both lost...

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

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