Skip to main content

A Word That Comes and Goes...

To love or not to love -- that is the only question that counts.

It's easy for me to feel like I love New Boo when I'm alone. I can relive all the great memories I have of our relationship and tell myself that it can be like this again.

But then I see him and the reality of the past couple of months comes into focus. And I realize that no matter what I want to feel, reconciling it with what I see is a stretch.

I'm not stupid. I know that love is a choice we all have to make. Contrary to popular belief, we don't just "fall" into it. Even when we feel love coming on, it's still our choice to walk in it. Once you choose to do that, it changes the game. But we have to remember that it's still a daily choice.

Right now, I don't know that loving New Boo is a choice I want to make.

I chose to love him for for a little over 10 months. He, on the other hand, chose to stop loving me. The part that continually kills me is that he made this choice without giving me a chance to either stop him or know about it.

I guess that's what gives me pause when I look at this situation. He never gave me -- or us -- a chance. He looked at what we had and decided that it wasn't good enough for him. That's kinda unforgivable.

Right now, he's in survival mode. He really doesn't care about anything but having a place to rest his head. He can try to tell me different, but I don't believe him. What kills me again is that I don't even know what he could possibly do or say to convince me that he's for real.

When he came over the other night, he was concerned about my body language. My arms were crossed and I was very closed to him. Almost like I was protecting my heart. I need to learn how to protect my heart now because when I gave it to him for safe-keeping, he broke it.

Now I'm on the verge of gluing it back together with my tears, and I can't see myself handing over to him again. I don't know that he deserves it, and I certainly don't trust him with it right now.

But on the flip, the hope that springs eternal in my soul wants it to be like it was before the madness. Before the mundane set in and he believed that he had me hook, line, and sinker. I want him to look at me and see his future again. And I want to see mine in him.

I sometimes feel like I want too much. Like the things I want out of a relationship just aren't possible. I know that no one's perfect, and I wonder sometimes if you're supposed to work with what you have to make it what you want. Or better yet, modify your wants until you can be comfortable with what you have.

I'm not sure. Honestly, I'm not sure about anything. All I know right now is that love is something I need to feel for New Boo again, and I don't know that I can.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A New Possibility?

If you've been reading EFTDOAD for any length of time, you've probably noticed that I haven't really talked about a man. By that, I mean a man of my own. What's really sad is that there hasn't been a man in my life for the entire time I've been writing this blog. I hate that. However, things may be looking up for me. One of my good friends hosts a forum in Los Angeles called " Battle of the Sexes ." This monthly event consists of guys and girls submitting questions anonymously to the moderators, with the answers being discussed in an open forum. It can get quite rowdy, and the discussions are always enlightening. For most of us, it's the first time we've really heard what members of the opposite sex think. I've been attending these Battles for a few months now. Even though I'm not a fan of mindless rhetoric, it's cool to be around some single people who can think and put together coherent sentences. The last couple of times I'v...

Life Matters: My Take on All This Madness

I am vexed beyond words about the situation with the two police officers being shot in Brooklyn. What bothers me is the blatant disregard for life -- on both sides. The man who felt like it was okay to take the lives of two police officers CLEARLY had no disregard for life because he took theirs and his own. And then there are the situations with Eric Garner and Michael Brown. Both situations show a disregard for life. For humanity, really. And it's painful to me that all of these families will have holes in them because someone felt like it was okay to take a life. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when people could fight and disagree -- and everyone went home to fight another day. When did it become okay to kill a person for whatever reason? As quiet as it's kept, by NOT indicting the police officers for killing those guys, it shows that life doesn't really matter. And it's easy to say Black life (and believe me, I do believe that it's open season ...

The Baby...

I heard from The Baby today. The Baby is a young man I met at work. Nice enough guy...he's 29...new to the radio game...and tall and lanky like I like 'em. He showed up at our studios because he was caught in the throes of his format's contract negotiations. When I saw him, I was kinda speechless. Not because he was cute -- he was -- but because I NEVER see other chocolate faces at my job. The conversation we had was one part interesting, one part amusing, but completely charming. Even though my interest in him was purely professional, we exchanged numbers. See, in addition to working as a radio engineer, he also has the inside track to this weekly show I like. For me, that was it. We exchanged a few texts, but nothing major. Then, one day he said that we should hang out. Since I'm always down for an adventure, I accepted. We ended up spending the day at the beach. We had a good time, but there were some definite red flags for me... For one, he didn't tip ...