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Feeling Better...

I spoke to New Boo today, and I'm feeling better about the whole thing. Why? Because he seems to be as miserable as I am. I know...that sounds kinda mean, but hey -- it is what it is. No need in me being alone in this drama.

I asked him if we'd ever be normal again, and he said, "That's the goal. Why? Do you have someone lined up already?" Honestly, I don't. I don't want anyone else. I just want to stop crying. He said, "I told you we are both still here and everything will be fine. Just give a me a little time. This is only temporary. Just keep doing your thing and things will be back to normal."

I hope he's right because I still love him dearly. And like I told you, I'm not through with him.

But I might have a date this weekend.

A couple of weeks ago, I met a guy when I was coming into my building. It was one of my good days when I hadn't been crying, and he was nice. He said he liked my smile and I decided to give him my number since I didn't know what was on New Boo's mind. He called me yesterday, but I was wrecked with the move and didn't want to answer. 

Well, I ran into him today, and he was like, "What happened? I called and you didn't pick up." I told him that I was working and couldn't talk. One thing led to another, and he was like, "Well, what are you doing tonight?" I told him I was working, but I'd be off this weekend. He said, "Okay. Let's do something Friday." I didn't commit to anything, but I told him to hit me up.

Before you think I'm fickle, let me say this -- I think it'll be good for me to date other people while I "wait" for New Boo to get himself together. For one, it'll keep me occupied so I won't think about him too much or cry too much. And I'll get to have fun and see what's out there.

And who knows? Maybe my dating will light a fire under his tail and he'll get on his grind.

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…