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Feeling Better...

I spoke to New Boo today, and I'm feeling better about the whole thing. Why? Because he seems to be as miserable as I am. I know...that sounds kinda mean, but hey -- it is what it is. No need in me being alone in this drama.

I asked him if we'd ever be normal again, and he said, "That's the goal. Why? Do you have someone lined up already?" Honestly, I don't. I don't want anyone else. I just want to stop crying. He said, "I told you we are both still here and everything will be fine. Just give a me a little time. This is only temporary. Just keep doing your thing and things will be back to normal."

I hope he's right because I still love him dearly. And like I told you, I'm not through with him.

But I might have a date this weekend.

A couple of weeks ago, I met a guy when I was coming into my building. It was one of my good days when I hadn't been crying, and he was nice. He said he liked my smile and I decided to give him my number since I didn't know what was on New Boo's mind. He called me yesterday, but I was wrecked with the move and didn't want to answer. 

Well, I ran into him today, and he was like, "What happened? I called and you didn't pick up." I told him that I was working and couldn't talk. One thing led to another, and he was like, "Well, what are you doing tonight?" I told him I was working, but I'd be off this weekend. He said, "Okay. Let's do something Friday." I didn't commit to anything, but I told him to hit me up.

Before you think I'm fickle, let me say this -- I think it'll be good for me to date other people while I "wait" for New Boo to get himself together. For one, it'll keep me occupied so I won't think about him too much or cry too much. And I'll get to have fun and see what's out there.

And who knows? Maybe my dating will light a fire under his tail and he'll get on his grind.

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As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

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Update

So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.