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The Crossroads...

NOW he wants to talk.

Now that we're on the verge of getting him completely out of my life, he wants to talk to me.

When he NEEDED to talk to let me into his heart...he didn't have the time or the inclination to communicate with me.

New Boo says he wants to move forward with me, but only if we can do so without the grudges. In other words, he wants me to forgive him for all the foolishness he's done.

Can I do that? I don't know. Do I want to? I don't know.

It's always been said that a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. In other words, what you have in your hand is better than the possibility of something else. So if I decide to stay with New Boo, I know what I have with him. BC -- before the crazy -- he wasn't that bad. I was happy. I thought he loved me, and I was completely content with what we had.


Now I feel like his heart is fickle and can change at any given point. I feel like his love is only as true as he "feels" like it is. And he might choose at any given time to pack up his heart and take it elsewhere.

I normally don't tell my mom about my love life, but this thing has been so invasive that I've had to let her in on it. So I told her about this, and -- surprisingly -- she didn't fuss. Instead, she told me that I needed to make sure that he was real and ready before I let him back in.

We're talking tomorrow...


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My Personal Superhero

My Teddy Bear continues to prove that he loves me in ways I never thought about.

As I told you before, I've been dealing with health issues. It's not pretty at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it's messy and leaves me weak sometimes. Weaker than I'd ever want to admit, actually.

Anyway, a friend of mine was coming to visit and I was trying to get my house ready. I managed to clean my bedroom and the bathroom before MTB came over. All I had to do was get the living room and kitchen together. But my body wasn't cooperating at all. I was in so much pain that I laid it down.

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Just thinking ab…


So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

PS: I think the onset of my period caused me to be in my feelings.