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What Just Happened Here?

What a difference 24 hours makes!

So when I left you yesterday, New Boo was miserable, and I was considering a date with someone else. What happened after that can only be described as insane.

I'm here working, singing, and trying to stay away and sane. At about 3:25am, I get a text from New Boo asking if I was up.

Now you must understand something. Unlike myself, New Boo goes to bed. I keep late hours. Not him. So I was shocked, to say the least. I was like, "Uh, yeah. Why are YOU up? Are you okay?" That's when he said that he couldn't sleep because he missed me. He was like, "Can I please come see you?" I didn't know what else to say, so I said yes.

Why did this fool show up here with bags? He brought his laundry and a couple of other things...like shoes. When he got in the door, he said he hadn't slept since he picked up his stuff the day before. Then he took me in his arms and cried, saying, "I'm so sorry."

Huh???

To say I was confused would be a complete understatement. Even though I knew he was just as miserable as I was, I didn't expect this. So he spent the night here, went to work, and came home after like he was supposed to before all of this madness.

You KNOW I had to know what was going on in his head. He told me that picking up his stuff made everything seem so final...like he'd never see me again, and he didn't like it.

So he's here...sleeping in the next room...and I'm up working. No singing tonight because he's a light sleeper and I'm wide awake because my thoughts are all in a swirl. Here's what I know...

  • I love him.
  • He loves me.
  • We don't need to live together right now.
  • But I don't like him living in other, unknown places.

Everything else is a blur. And it's crazy and strange and wonderful and scary all at the same time.

And lest I forget the other guy, he's been on a full-court press all day. He's been texting me, saying how he loves my smile and that he can't stop thinking about me.

The LAST thing I need right now is to drag someone else into my personal drama. So I'm going to call him tomorrow and explain my situation. I don't know if that's the right step to take, but I don't want to string him along because he seems nice.

This is SO complicated right now...

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Dear New Boo,

I knew that tonight would be a pivotal moment in our history, and you did not disappoint. No matter what I thought before this evening, you addressed everything I needed clarification on. Thank you for that.
I had all kinds of fanciful thoughts in my mind about what this evening would be. I took every scenario I could and played it out to its end. Each and every one of them. And when I got to the one that actually happened, I thought to myself, surely he won't let this happen. Surely he cares more than that. If he reached out, surely he'll follow through.
But no...not you. You did what you always do. You stood me up, and you let me down. Again. 
I shouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'm not. No matter how much faith I try to put in you, you constantly prove that you don't deserve it. No matter how much I try to see the good in you, you always manage to bring the worst to the forefront. And if my feelings are hurt, it's my fault for trying.
You don…