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What Just Happened Here?

What a difference 24 hours makes!

So when I left you yesterday, New Boo was miserable, and I was considering a date with someone else. What happened after that can only be described as insane.

I'm here working, singing, and trying to stay away and sane. At about 3:25am, I get a text from New Boo asking if I was up.

Now you must understand something. Unlike myself, New Boo goes to bed. I keep late hours. Not him. So I was shocked, to say the least. I was like, "Uh, yeah. Why are YOU up? Are you okay?" That's when he said that he couldn't sleep because he missed me. He was like, "Can I please come see you?" I didn't know what else to say, so I said yes.

Why did this fool show up here with bags? He brought his laundry and a couple of other things...like shoes. When he got in the door, he said he hadn't slept since he picked up his stuff the day before. Then he took me in his arms and cried, saying, "I'm so sorry."

Huh???

To say I was confused would be a complete understatement. Even though I knew he was just as miserable as I was, I didn't expect this. So he spent the night here, went to work, and came home after like he was supposed to before all of this madness.

You KNOW I had to know what was going on in his head. He told me that picking up his stuff made everything seem so final...like he'd never see me again, and he didn't like it.

So he's here...sleeping in the next room...and I'm up working. No singing tonight because he's a light sleeper and I'm wide awake because my thoughts are all in a swirl. Here's what I know...

  • I love him.
  • He loves me.
  • We don't need to live together right now.
  • But I don't like him living in other, unknown places.

Everything else is a blur. And it's crazy and strange and wonderful and scary all at the same time.

And lest I forget the other guy, he's been on a full-court press all day. He's been texting me, saying how he loves my smile and that he can't stop thinking about me.

The LAST thing I need right now is to drag someone else into my personal drama. So I'm going to call him tomorrow and explain my situation. I don't know if that's the right step to take, but I don't want to string him along because he seems nice.

This is SO complicated right now...

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So...I finally unburdened myself to New Boo. I told him that I wasn't built for sneaking around and random treks down the primrose path to sin & degradation.

As expected, he told me, "I thought you wanted just to chill." Then he added -- almost as a smackdown, in my opinion -- "I'm not looking for any relationship. And you're the one who involved me."

He's right. I did. And now I can finally UN-involve him.

I'm not angry. I have no right to be. But I AM finally able to get a bit of closure. And maybe NOW I can move on.

Now the question of my life is...will I be moving on with My Teddy Bear, or on my own?

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