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Is It Me?

I know I will get past the sinking feeling I have when I think of New Boo. It's like the bottom of my heart falls out everything he crosses my mind.

No matter how many times I hear him saying, "It's not you, it's me," in my mind, I can't help but pick myself apart. I don't want to...but it's inevitable.

Was I not pretty enough? Did I not keep a clean enough house? Did I really ask too much from him? Was I just not worth it to him?

I think that's the question that haunts me...that I'm not worth it. Because if he felt that way, maybe that's why I'm still single after all this time. Maybe every guy I've ever dated said, "She's okay, but she's not worth the effort it would take to be with her."

No one wants to feel that way -- me included -- but there comes a point in your life where you have to look at yourself with a critical eye to figure out why every relationship goes wrong. I'm not stupid enough to believe that I'm the pristine saint and EVERY guy is the devil. Something else is going on, and I just don't know what it is.

I just want to be normal again. I want to be MackDiva again. Is that too much to ask?

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